Our lives changed on October 15, 2016. Sahleah, my daughter, attempted suicide. She became depressed which led to self-worth dissipation and I saw it transcend through her health, personal hygiene, friendships and the tears in her eyes. I struggled with understanding the root of the issue and why at the age of 12, she would have feelings that caused her to feel hopeless. I struggled, as a single mother, to understand and reconcile my role in her perception of life.
Did I work too much? Was the decision to divorce her father the right one? But, every decision I made in life had been sifted through a filter discriminating anything that went against the well-being of my child, even the divorce. But, now we flirted with the delicacy of life and death.
My friends and family were a tremendous help in keeping us encouraged and I strengthened our village to include Eastern and Western approaches to health, physicians and specialist to support and aid in her healing. However, because we could not identify the root, “the why” for Sahleah’s pain, we endured a gruesome cycle of suicide ideation, self-harm and acute treatment. After a six-month waiting period, she completed an autism assessment at Kennedy Krieger Center for Autism and Related Disorders, which resulted in her diagnoses of Autism Spectrum Disorder- “the why”. I received this diagnosis with relief and confusion, and we began an enlightened path to her healing.
This site is dedicated to the journey of living on the spectrum.
Recent Blog Posts
The Phoenix
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, so let me explain. We’ve had more than six months of consistent peace. I have to be honest. For the majority of that time, I braced myself preparing for the worse.
01 October, 2019
National Disability Employment Awareness Month
When Sahleah was born, I imagined how she’d contribute to the world. Like most parents, my well-intended day dreams picked her career and aspirations. I’d imagine that she’d be a doctor or an attorney
27 September, 2018
Caregiver Burnout
I’m tired. Is that okay to say? The Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis was a blessing. It helped to pinpoint Sahleah’s needs and helped me to focus my energy on interventions to support her emotionall
30 September, 2018
What Led Us To The ASD Screening
When my phone rang, I immediately stood at attention and power walked to a semi-private location. With angst I whispered “hello,” to manage a delicate manner in the most imperfect circumstances. This
16 October, 2018
Jack and the Jack O Lantern
Happy Halloween!, Sahleah shared this picture of “Jack and the Jack O Lantern”. Jack, the horse, has become part of our village. It’s only been four months and we’re already experiencing the benefits
31 October, 2018
Thanksgiving and Gratitude!
Gratitude is an acceptance and appreciation for all things. In each opportunity there is a process that we each much undergo to intentionally reach gratitude. Sometimes the process isn’t easy. A painf
22 November, 2018
Time for Reflection
I was very fortunate to have a two-week staycation this month. This break was much needed from the pace of 2018. As December approached, I looked forward to the down time and tried to organize my unre
31 December, 2018
Fatherhood to Her
“I’ve sent text to both of my fathers,” Sahleah stated nonchalantly in recognition of Father’s Day. But, things weren’t always so casual when it came to this holiday. For years the role of fatherhood
16 June, 2019
